Alien in Girl Accessories store.

Dear Manager of (insert name of Girl Accessories store here),

On (insert date/day here), I walked into your store, (insert store name here), at CityLink.

Unfortunately, your sales person by the name of (insert name of sales person here) has not performed well because she stared at me as if I'm some sort of an alien when I walked into your store alone.

I am disappointed because your sales person did not treat me as a normal customer, clearly the service was not performed correctly. I expect (insert sales person name) to go about doing her own thing while I shop for my girlfriend. Apparently something was not disclosed clearly to her, as my presence was misrepresented, something about wonderful boyfriends shopping alone for gifts for their girlfriends in (insert name of Girl Accessories store here).

To resolve the problem, I would appreciate it if you could provide specific training for all of your sales person worldwide/island wide on how to treat male customers patronizing (insert name of Girl Accessories store here). Enclosed are copies of my memories including copies of (insert whatever memories you have other than this one here).

I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem, and will wait until (set a time limit here) before going on a internet rampage, posting this 1337 letter all over the interwebz. Please contact me at the above address or by phone at (insert phone number here).

Yours sincerely,
(insert your name here for faster response.)

Rick Astley

via ???

I'm a cellphone freak

and here are my five commandments of having/using cellphone.

1. Thou shalt attempt to pickup thy cellphone every time it rings/vibrates.
The reason for having a cellphone is... so that you can contact people and vice versa. If you're not picking up normal calls(non prank/advert/telemarketing) then why do you want a cellphone?

2. Thou shalt not set thy cell to vibrate permanently.
Why would you want to set your cellphone to vibrate permanently? Are you in a meeting 24/7 or do you wish people not to disturb you. If you wish people to not disturb you, turn it off or do not get a cellphone, then nobody, NOBODY can disturb you.

3. Thou shalt not use cellphone set to vibrate as a excuse for not answering.
Millions and millions of people use 'my cellphone was set to vibrate' as an excuse to not pick up their calls/reply their sms, time to nip this in the butt.

When you set your cell to vibrate you want to know that someone is calling but do not want the ring tone to disturb everyone. This action tells us that you have the intention to pickup the call. You should turn off your cell when you have no intention of picking up.

4. Thou shalt buy thy cellphone in view of using it 24/7.
Buy a cellphone but want to turn it off x% of the time? Might as well use your house phone/pay phone/office phone/borrow your friend's cell and save on your monthly bills.

5. Thou shalt accept this 5 commandments.
Cellphones are invented for everybody's convenience, not just yours. By not picking up thy cell, you are robbing others their right to convenience(contacting you).

Don't be selfish, pick up the call and make the world a better place. 99% of the time, Communication leads to good things.

Regards,
Mr. Ridiculous

True or False?

http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/pc/lifeexplained.jpg

go catch The Dark Knight too, Joker is amazingly funny yet sinister!

Queueing for the iPhone 3G?!

This is just in, iDiots are queueing up outside the 5th Ave Apple Store 1 week ahead for the iPhone 3g.

WHAT THE FRANK?!

1 week ahead, seriously? During the last iPhone launch, people just walk in in the afternoon instead of in the morning, and pick up their iPhone without even waiting. Ridiculous how people would love Apple so much its almost insane.


Do these people have jobs?

No, but apparently they love Jobs,

So much so that they would give him a b***job?

Its incredible how these iDiots iDol Jobs and Apple as a whole.

This is madness, total madness, I wonder if Singaporeans being the typical kiasu type will queue up one week ahead to buy an iPhone.

My bet is on No.


You see a kid/baby there right? That baby girl is only 6 months old and she has to join her uncle craig(in red shrit) to queue one week for a bloody iPhone which she cannot use. The 10 or so people there are likely to be together and they have a grand vision of breaking some waiting/queueing record.

I pity the baby. Hope they have some kinda tent or what ready because its likely going to rain.

• All the things they say about 3G is 99% wrong. 3G device doesn't not have more room, storage room is based on flash memory like 8gigabytes or 16gigabytes and its up to the manufacturer to decide.
• It's 3rd Generation alright but saying 3rd Generation is just telling us the name, only skin deep.
• Its only faster in surfing the web and no it does not have the internet, it has the ability to surf the internet. Its only slighlty updated with 3G and A-GPS.
• WTF Steve Jobs is the man, Steves Jobs is great? Its basically screaming fanboys.

Regards,
Mr Ridiculous

Disappointed

I did not bring her to Jurong Bird Park.
I'm disappointed with myself.
I know you are disappointed with me.
I'm very sorry that I didn't keep my promise.
I know that saying sorry cannot solve everything
but I'm sorry, sorry is all I can say.

Just Lost It

A sudden fit of anger.

The cruelty.

The mercilessness.

The rage.

The spouting of nonsense.

The wake up call.

The relief after the spout of nonsense.

The heartache.

The decision.

The end.